Parents weighing up a co-educational school in Surrey often start earlier than they expect to, because the decision begins at nursery. At two or three years old, though, whether a setting is mixed or single sex means something quite different from what it means at eleven or thirteen.
Here is what co-education actually looks like in the early years, and what we would suggest asking.
At two to four, the mix matters less than you might think
Very young children do not organise themselves by gender the way older children do. Interests, temperament and friendships form around what a child likes doing rather than who they are expected to play with. In a well run early years room you will see boys and girls building, painting, digging and reading side by side without giving it much thought.
What that means in practice is that the benefit parents associate with co-education at secondary level, learning to work alongside the opposite sex, is largely already there at this age in any good setting. The real differences between nurseries lie elsewhere: in the quality of the teaching, the ratios, the outdoor space and the warmth of the room.
Why many single sex schools run a co-educational nursery
It surprises some parents to find that a number of the best known girls’ and boys’ schools in Surrey run a co-educational nursery. There are good reasons for it.
Families often want siblings in the same place during the early years. Younger children benefit from a broad, sociable start before any decision about the next stage is taken. And a school gains from being part of its local community of young families rather than closed off from it.
For parents, it means a nursery place at a school does not have to commit you to that school’s later structure. It also means the question of what comes next is one worth asking directly rather than assuming.
The questions worth asking
If you are considering a co-educational nursery attached to a school, we would ask the following.
- How are the nursery years structured, and how does that change between two and four?
- Is the nursery genuinely part of the school, with access to its staff, facilities and grounds?
- What are the arrangements at the end of the nursery years, for both boys and girls?
- If our child moves on elsewhere, will the school help with that transition?
The third question matters most, and the answer varies considerably between schools. Any admissions team should be able to talk it through with you clearly.
What we would look at instead
When parents ask what actually distinguishes one early years setting from another, the answer is rarely the mix of boys and girls. It is usually these things: whether your child will have a named adult who knows them well; how much of the day is spent outdoors, and in what kind of space; whether specialist teaching is available at this age for music, languages and physical development; and whether the room feels calm and purposeful when you walk in unannounced.
Seeing a co-educational nursery in Surrey
Our own Nursery and Kindergarten in Little Bookham are co-educational, welcoming boys and girls from two to four, and sit within the grounds and facilities of Manor House School. Children are taught by specialist teachers in French, Music, PE and Performing Arts, and have their own Forest School sessions in The Dell.
You can read more about our Nursery and Kindergarten, or come and see the room for yourself at our free Toddler Group, every Wednesday in term time from 9.30am to 11.00am. No booking is needed.